the demon in me

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

time has changed hell lots of things. how society view things changes. Relationship changed too.

from what i learnt there are stages to the physical closes in a relationship

stage1 - holding hands
stage2 - hugging
stage3 - kissing
stage4 - frenching
stage5 - petting
stage6 - heavy petting
stage7 - sex

from stage 1 to stage 7 till which stage is it normally acceptable for a BGR?

to be it stops at 5? but who actually follows this? if one had explored all 7 stages what happen to the surprise on wedding night?

when i first learn this, i rmb some said , wow just nice for 1 week. does relationship really ripe so fast? so confusing. or am i a real dino?

well for some real stuff.. the first 2 days of exam are terrible.. the end

8:07 AM
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Friday, October 26, 2007

today is so full of ups and downs...

i woke up at abt 750, a little too late cuz dad was already awake. so i "hide" in my room till he left house which was almost 9. so bloody retarded to be hiding in my room. some 1 off my aircon and some how the remote is not in my room.

started today in school with a long discussing with mr tan on technology. it always have been so much fun talking to him. all the points generated from this simple meeting might be so important to my gp exam if i choose to do the technology question. while discussing i saw jacq tan gd girl huan ling standing at a distance. although i am half blind, this time i saw her and she did not see me! cuz i received a sms "hor bad boy nv go sch" shortly after. so i am not that blind after all!

had KFC for lunch, as usual it is FINGER LICKING GOOD! slurp!

went back to library to study, done physics paper 3 for year 2005 2004 2003, but damn loads of blanks..

well. there is someting i regreted so much today.. that is. i actually let her go home when i had not done what is the most important objective of the day! and she suddenly MIA!! till now!! some 1 told me she might have fallen sleep. but wow since 6 plus? wahahahahahaha really can go farm audition be the star pig!.. hope it is this way, but some how i just dun think that matters are so simple..

Qouted from the famous TAN XIAO "it feels good to love and be loved"

9:03 AM
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6:35 AM
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Sunday, October 21, 2007

i fought with my dad last night. i might be childish but hell knows my dad is worst. well i am not gonna hide any longer. i dont have a happy family like what i always tell my friends. my dad is a old man with a freaking childish mind and bad temper. he just cant stop make mum sad.

dad, mum need a man, one who she can depend on. who do u think u are, so wad if u are studying, taking up phd in uni. who cares abt that if u cant even give my mum some emotional comfort. she is ur wife, not ur mum. how many time have u look at my report book? well once! in this whole bloody 10 years and u only cared abt my result once, and that once is cuz i got all A's and u felt proud abt it. Where the hell are u when i got all F? when i need a father to teach me what to do how to pick up myself. Where were u all these time? why did u give up a job with a good pay and set up this bloody company that make lost more den income? just because ur fucking boss scolded u once u have to be ur own boss? did u think of us? how much mum have to endure through just to provided the basics for the family. where is the father who will give a damn of my well being? who will care for me? well u did care, u care for my relationship by telling me how ugly my exgirlfrends were. does that matter? did u marry mum cuz she is pretty? maybe u did. mum was so pretty in those old photos, look at what happen to her now.. the work load the stress. dont u feel anything? i need that firm hand on my shoulder. the encouraging smile. when was the last time i got that? like never!? do u know how ugly u looked when u fought me last night? the look on ur face, is not much different from the gangsters that i so much hated. did u realise what u said? u said"i will eat u to death even if i cant win u i will make sure i'll bite u to death" such a caring father i've got. u wanna bite me? is this something a normal 44 year old will say? HELL NO. so did u regret sending me to martial art classes? u cant win me, never! with that immature heart of urs. i will not abandon my parents, afterall i did survive till now. i will try my best to provide for u when it is my turn but pls, dun break mum's heart anymore.no matter what she is a girl. you are a father a husband pls do ur part in the family. throw away the fucking retarded idea that u are the king in the family. that will never happen, if u want that go back to the stone age. i know i am a bloody rebellious son but do think abt urself. ur are not the whole world.pls love my mum as u shd.if u did not realise, mum's younger but her hair is almost white under the dyed cover. and look at ur own head. y is ur hair black? well sorry to say but i thank god that i dun have ur temper

6:42 AM
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Friday, October 19, 2007

Today is a weird day for me...

i was so hyper and happy in the day but as night falls my happiness faded.i felt so depressed by many issues..

A level is coming, is jus 10 days away, am i prepared? i dont know.. 13 years of education all for this exam..

i have forgotten how is it to like someone, but sometime i'm really desperate for a hug. i am not even clear of my feelings.. well done..

i am losing friends, one by one their showing their true colours, they are not my true friends..

thinking of the past make me feel that present is such a torture

is hard to have not cried infront of any1 for 10 years.

7:49 AM
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Wednesday, October 17, 2007

ITS ALMOST OVER

it was graduation yesterday, for me it is fill with emotions. However not the usual ones ppl have during graduation. This is a recollection of my 3 years in MI.

i came into this school in late May and screwed up my high school life. As the saying goes "a transferred student must be cheerful on the first day in order to make friends" but i wasn't cheerful at all. i was so unhappy coming to MI, i tot its the end of my education. i Want to go back to JC so much i started skipping school sleeping in class not talking to any1. i retook O level and from 15 points i got 9 but! my sch exam from AAA became FFF at the end of the year. well and for some weird reason i wanna prove myself i stayed in MI. i've no idea even till now if this is right. well to year 2 i made some friends i went to states won some big award, but from this point on i was labeled as a geek. welll ppl dun like geeks. and year 2 was so bad.. i still fail every exam year 3 was much better i made more friends but also found out some friends are not friends. just when my life in mi became a little enjoyable, i graduated. how nice..

recalling my sec school graduation, although its a boy school, we were all brought to tears. The bonds between the boys are so strong. i long for such friendship again but i cant find one. MAYBE ns another all "boy" community will bring me some true friends..

9:34 PM
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Tuesday, October 2, 2007

29 more days to A level.. but i am still not studying as much as i shd..

2:48 AM
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